A Judge and A Priest Walk Into A Living Room... is the twentieth and final episode of Season 4 of The Conners, also the 71st episode overall.
Summary[]
The Conners gear up for a megawedding! Jackie and Neville, Darlene and Ben, and Harris and Aldo are planning for a shared big day, but along the way they discover that some of the couples may not be on the same page about their happily ever afters. Meanwhile, Dan and the family have decked out the house for the occasion, but will all six of the lovebirds make it to "I do"?
Plot[]
They try again to plan the weddings.
In-Depth[]
They are planning the weddings with a chart on a marker board. Ben says that nobody agrees on any thing. Darlene vetoes Neville and Jackie's choice of Fleetwood Mac, saying it is impossible. Aldo's choice is the most interesting and every body surpisingly agrees to hire an Opera Singing Clown instead. The next problem is the location. They thought of doing it again outdoors which is not possible. Every location they think of is a toxic waste dump. It is decided to simply have it in the living room. Darlene's next suggestion is to include a Judge and hopefully not a Priest to perform the marriages. Since Jackie is a Priestess, she does not like this idea. Darlene wants to take public wedding photographs at The Lunch Box, being sure that Jackie hears the suggestion. Becky says that the Cakes have arrived and asks why Harris is not going to select one. She says that Beverly Rose has already eaten the cakes which is all the more disgusting as Beverly Rose drinks Toilet Water. Harris is not interested in testing cakes. Also, Beverly Rose is the reason why Harris does not want to have children. Becky asks Harris about what to do so that Aldo does not want another child so fast. Harris says that all he needs is a Lego Collection.
Jackie asks Harris for a Tattoo of a Ring. Harris recommends Aldo instead. They are moving the furniturte. Dan tells an Interesting Story about the Blanket that sits on the couch. Becky and Ben are talking again. She is upset that Ben found a different use for Becky's bedroom. Jackie tells Becky not to worry since no matter how Ben feels, he is not going to do that much to her. Dan walks in to insult Jackie who tries her best not to cry while Becky tries her best not to worry.
Harris's plan did not work at all in the slightest. She is upset that Aldo wants her to have a Breast Pump and a Baby Shower. She is upset that she was manipulated while he is upset that she does not want to have a child. She does not want a very important decision to be rushed. With Aldo finally understanding, they mutually agree to cancel their wedding.
Harris is now demoted to Brides Maid. Since she and Becky now have to find a place to stay, Becky says that they should move in together. Harris is revolted by this since she can not stand Beverly Rose.
Neville hates the Judge. He is ready to storm out of the room. Louise tries to keep him from leaving while Jackie runs after him.
Aldo fails to give Jackie the Tattoo. It now says NEVER instead of NEVILLE.
Jackie talks to Darlene about the disasterous wedding with Neville and also worrying about Aldo using tainted Tattoo equipment. After hearing that Jackie wants them to have the wedding together, they agree to add a Priest to the wedding.
Dan is playing with his Dinosaur, wearing a Wedding Dress, worried about his family forgetting him. Louise tries to cheer him up, saying that they will never leave even if he tried.
Becky finally tells Darlene she does not want to move in to the new house. Darlene says that they never even considered turning her away, and that they actually appreciate Becky. Since Ben is doing every thing he can to not express compassion, Becky wants Darlene to confess as well. She finally admits to Becky that she loves her sister as much as Ben does and as much as Darlene loves Ben. Darlene tells Becky how much she hates expressing love.
They meet the Opera Singer as well as The Judge and The Priest. The Opera Singer is the Straight Man while The Judge and The Priest continue to bicker with each other.
As Jackie recites her Vows, her finger did get infected, and ruptured all over Neville.
However, the wedding occurs with no further inturruptions, and are successfully married.
Cast[]
Starring[]
- John Goodman as Dan Conner
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner
- Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Emma Kenney as Harris Healy
- Ames McNamara as Mark Healy II
- Jayden Rey as Mary Conner
- Jay R. Ferguson as Ben Olinsky
Special Guest[]
Guests[]
- Nat Faxon as Neville Goldufski
- Charlotte Sanchez as Beverly Rose Conner
- Tony Cavalero as Aldo
- Ian Gomez as Father Morton
- Jim O'Heir as Judge
- Mike Geier as Puddles
Trivia[]
- D.J. Conner appears, but has no lines. While he’s later seen in seasons 5 and 7 through clip montages, this episode is his final appearance proper.
- Mike Geier is credited as "Puddles Pity Party".
Quotes[]
Darlene:[]
That is a TOFUdactyl and a TyranoSOYrus Rex.
Neville:[]
No disrespect, and I love them very much, but That Family Is All Going To Hell.
Jackie:[]
I'll never be happy. I'll never get married. I'll never be able to slap my mother with my wedding ring so it leaves a dent.
Jackie:[]
Because of you I can see things in a different way now. So it stands for: "I've never been happier, I've never been more optimistic about the future, and I'll never leave you.".
Neville:[]
To me Never stands for: "Never been married because I Never thought I would find The Perfect Woman, but I did.".
Ben:[]
Darlene, Whatever life brings us, I know it's gonna be okay because I'll have you by my side, and there is not a moment of my life that won't be made better sharing it with you.
Darlene:[]
I've made so many mistakes in my life, and it's just ... It's crazy because I keep being thrown blessings like my family, my kids, and finally you. ... I do not feel like I deserve you, but I am gonna do every thing I can to make you happy and hang on to you for the rest of my life. I love you Ben.