It's a Boy! was the 19th episode of Season 5 of Roseanne, also the 116th overall series episode. Written by comedian Rob Ulin, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on March 2, 1993.
Darlene begs Roseanne to let David move in with them; after immediately refusing, Roseanne relents when she realizes that his situation really is intolerable.
The episode begins with David sneaking into Darlene's room in the middle of the night to announce that his parents are getting divorced, and that he's running away to New York to begin his drawing career early. But regardless of his other options, he will not consider relocating to Michigan to live with his mother. Darlene refuses to run away with him, but acknowledges for the first time that she does love him when he says she does not care.
Darlene approaches Roseanne to discuss the viability of David moving into the Conner house. When Dan intrudes on the conversation, Darlene at first fronts the conversation with a discussion about tampons in an effort to exclude Dan. But on Roseanne's insistence, Darlene gets to the point. Dan dismisses the request without discussion, but Roseanne is impressed with Darlene's presentation technique. And besides, she likes David - even more than she likes Darlene. Later, Roseanne adds that she considered that the likelihood of her actually liking another of Darlene's boyfriends is remote.
Not withstanding, Roseanne sides with Dan, and she announces the bad news to Darlene and David. While David seems resigned to this and merely thanks Roseanne for considering it, Darlene is immediately distressed and angry; when Roseanne tries to reason with her, she reveals that David intends to run away from home instead. On the pretense of advising Mrs. Healy of David's planto run away, Roseanne visits the Healy household. When Mrs. Healy learns of David's request to move in with Roseanne, she gers verbally abusive towards him and also refers to Becky and Darlene as "whores". When she screams in David's face that he is a 'worthless little bastard' Roseanne decides that she cannot leave David to live in such a terrible situation and tells him that she's changed her mind... he can move in. Mrs. Healy gets apologetic and begs David to stay, but he tearfully refuses. With that, she kicks him out straight away.
David and Roseanne return to the Conner house, with the title announcement, "It's a boy!" Darlene is delighted; Jackie is furious, and moves out in protest. To illustrate Jackie's point, she moves in with - of all people - her mother.
Then comes informing Dan of the news. Uncharacteristically humble, Roseanne begins with, "I wouldn't ordinarily make this decision without you... but I had another kid" Dan is furious that Roseanne has made such a decision without him andan argument ensues. His ranting includes a sarcastic concession that D.J. should be allowed to go on his all-sugar diet. However when Roseanne tells how bad David's home life is, pointing out that it is even worse than her own abusive upbringing, Dan's attitude immediately changes; when Roseanne (conveniently) promises to kick Jackie out in exchange, Dan agrees that he can stay.
Dan and Roseanne explain the new rules to Darlene and David - as long as they are under the roof, they are not allowed to kiss, hold hands or show any other signs of affection (although their relationship can still continue). Also David has to abide by the rules of the household in regards to chores and curfew, rules which Roseanne concedes she couldn't get her own kids to honor. But of course, all agree to the terms; David has obviously been in more difficult scenarios. One final issue to be resolved is the new pecking order: D.J. claims that seniority over David gives him priority over David's older age. However, Darlene is quickly able to counter this by stating that David will simply appeal to her whenever he wants to overrule D.J.- which, oddly enough, D.J. seems perfectly o.k. with.
In a post-date good-night kiss scene, Darlene and David part company - by both going inside.
- Roseanne Arnold as Roseanne Conner
- John Goodman as Dan Conner
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner (credit only)
- Sally Kirkland makes her second and last appearance as Barbara Healy, she had previously appeared in "It's No Place Like Home for the Holidays".
- This episode scored 31.2 million viewers and ranked #1 for the week.
- Despite being credited, Lecy Goranson (Becky Conner) does not appear.
- Roseanne: Welcome to Rosanadu.
- Darlene: (to David who's trying to talk her into running away with him) You're right, what was I thinking? We'll just show up to a New York bus station with no money. The only thing we have left to think about, now, is who's gonna play me in "Darlene: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway."
- Barbara Healy [to Roseanne]: Look, I don't need you, butting in, telling me how to raise my kids! Look at the two little whores you raised!
- Roseanne: Uh, I'm in this now. You know, if your kid wasn't here I'd take the opportunity to remind you that people who live in glass whore houses shouldn't throw stones. It’s people like you that give white trash a bad name.
- David: Please, just stop it. It’s over, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I promise.
- Barbara Healy: Love to see you try & run away. You think you can live without me? You think you can survive for two minutes out there in that world unless I was taking care of you? You’re worthless! You’re a “worthless little bastard”!
- Roseanne: Okay, I’m changing my mind. David, you can come live with us if you want to.
- Barbara Healy: Are you trying to steal my kid?
- Roseanne: It’s got nothing to do with stealing anything. Whether he runs away or comes to live at my place, he is not gonna stay here with you.
- Barbara Healy: That’s not true. Is it, honey?
- David: I wanna live with them.
- Barbara Healy: Look, you know that I don’t mean it when I do this, baby. I just…I’m going through a tough time, okay? I-I won’t talk like that again, I’ll never say it again, don’t you love me?!
- David: I can’t keep doing this.
- Barbara Healy: Okay, get out, NOW!
- David: Okay.
- Barbara Healy: NOW!!!!!!
- Roseanne: Come on, David. We’ll get your stuff later. Let’s go home.
- Dan: Hey. Where you been?
- Roseanne: Uh, well, Dan, I-I wouldn't ordinarily do this without you, but...I went and had another kid.
- Dan: Is David out there?
- Roseanne: You mean Dan Jr.?
- David: (after climbing in through the window of Darlene's bedroom at night) Is that what you sleep in?
- Darlene: Well, my pasties and g-string are in the wash.
- Dan: There will be no touchy-feely, hanky panky, or smoochy woochy, or any of that other stuff you're not suppose to know about.
- Darlene: Can we still date?
- Dan: You could, but I don't see much point.
- Roseanne: (to Darlene and Jackie as she and David enter the house after having asked him to come live with the Conners) Well, it's a boy!