Mark and Harris watch the live coverage of the 2020 New Hampshire Democratic primary for a school assignment, prompting the rest of the family to chime in on their own political opinions; the family holds a surprise going away party for Louise to interfere with her relationship with Dan.
The opening credits are in the lower thirds of the screen.
Dan has to air out the house and everybody is hungry and freezing. Darlene finds three boxes of mac & cheese without the cheese packets. Jackie finds Chinese mustard and red chili pepper flakes instead. Darlene finds a jar of pasta sauce.
Harris can't use her laptop so she wants to take her brother's. Jackie says that Harris needs to vote instead, with Becky agreeing.
The opening title card: "THE CONNERS"
"You are watching The Conners live right now in front of a studio audience!"
The rest of the credits appear as they usually do.
Darlene, Becky, and D.J. decide against going shopping because La Casita Bonita is much closer. They talk with Louise who needed to talk to Becky about filling in for her while she goes on tour. They ask Louise about Dan which she says that he asked her to go on the tour. They are surprised to hear her say that. Becky says that Louise is irreplaceable. Darlene says that perhaps this is why Dan has been upset and keeping to himself. D.J. asks if there is going to be a problem with Louise going on tour without him since they are dating. But Darlene says that Dan isn't paying any attention to Louise. They get ready to start an intervention of the relationship. Darlene recommends a going away party. She says it will be easy because he opens up when he is drunk.
A member of the band, Dwight, has been spying on their conversation and goes along with it. He tells Louise that Dan is going to miss her like crazy. Louise says that she does not want to talk about it since Dan refused to commit to the relationship. Dwight says to try again because Dan is not going to come to her. Dwight says that Dan does not to open up to anybody, even when he is drunk. Louise wants to focus on her music career instead.
Darlene still says that it is easy to bring Dan and Louise together. D.J. thinks that Dan will be glad to have the party but Becky is skeptical.
Mark, Becky, and Ben are watching the television with Harris watching Beverly Rose. Ben takes Becky to set up the going away party. Darlene's children are by themselves now. Harris wants the laptop while her brother is watching television. He says that he doubts that she is going to actually study. Harris takes the laptop from him but loses her grip on it. Mark wants Harris to stay away since he thinks it is unfair that she moved out while he is stuck at the house. He is also tired of her coming back every time that it is convenient for her.
Everybody else is at La Casita Bonita successfully throwing the going away party. Both Dan and Louise do not want to be there but since the family is demanding pictures, they reluctantly cooperate. The family keeps going by encouraging toasts to the relationship. During the third round, the two have had enough. Dan says that they need to stop it. He says "I don't want to do this," which causes Louise to walk out. Dan is annoyed and embarrassed at the awkward situation. One of his daughters still works at La Casita Bonita.
Mark has both the television and the laptop. He is typing his report when Harris returns. He reminds her once again to go away. Harris says that this time she is there to listen to him. Mark gets upset all over again when she does not say what he wants to hear.
Becky and Darlene talk to Dan in the kitchen. Dan finally tells them that they broke up because Dan did not want to commit to a new relationship. He finally also says that he never was ready for a new relationship because he is still grieving. He even went to a church. At the church, he was given advice to write a letter to himself and then burn it on a specific date. He wanted to tell Louise about it the other night but he gave up. He does not know how to talk to Louise. Every time they talked it only got worse.
Harris answers a phone call that sounds like Hillary Clinton. But when Hillary keeps telling Harris to vote, Harris gets suspicious.
- John Goodman as Dan Conner
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner
- Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Emma Kenney as Harris Healy
- Ames McNamara as Mark Healy II
- Jayden Rey as Mary Conner
- This is the first ever episode in the whole series to be filmed live. It was performed live for both east and west coast airings, and incorporated actual updates on the primary.
- This is the third episode this season to feature "Lanford" in its title. Along with "The Pied Piper of Lanford" (Season 3), "Lanford Daze" (Season 5) and "Lanford's Elite" (Season 9) from Roseanne, it's the sixth episode overall.
- This is the first ever episode to not feature a title sequence. The title card is not shown right at the beginning, and is instead displayed where the title sequence would usually begin.
- Due to it being filmed live, it aired as the twelfth episode of the season, but was actually the eighteenth to be filmed.
East and West Coast Comparisons
Since the episode was filmed twice, there are many differences between the two;
- In the EC airing, Harris forgets her line where she teases Mark and calls him a dork and instead ad-libs a new line on the spot which visibly trips up Darlene for an awkward couple of seconds. Darlene still delivers her lines as written even though Harris didn't say her joke, but they quickly move past it. Harris gets it right in the WC version.
- At the end of the kitchen scene in the EC, Jackie jokes that Harris is hungry and will feel better after eating old packs of condiments. In the WC, Jackie instead makes a cynical remark about politicians screwing us over.
- Mark gets through the EC airing flawlessly, but stumbles on his lines twice in the WC. First time was in the kitchen scene, the second time was later in the episode when talking to Harris about boy troubles.
- At the restaurant, after Becky says that Dan will be angry at them for staging a fake going-away party for Louise, Darlene's final line changes. In the EC, Darlene says "It doesn't mean we still can't have a nice evening" with deadpan delivery. In the WC, Darlene instead yells out "It's a party, bitches!".
- In the EC version, Becky misses her cue after the commercial break, which resulted in a few seconds of Mark sitting in silence until Becky runs into the scene with her line. This is fixed for the WC.
- Becky asks Mark for an update on the primaries. In the EC, Mark says the votes are 15% in and makes a joke about the DNC holding back some of the results to not affect the numbers in Iowa. In the WC, Mark says that Bernie won, but jokes that there was some Russian hacking because Putin came in second.
- When Harris asks Mark for an update, Mark says in the EC that Bernie is doing well and jokes that if he wins he may finally stop yelling. In the WC, Mark says Klobuchar held at 20% and jokes that her hair is taking credit for the strong showing.
- Just before Becky and Ben leave, Mark comments in the EC that Warren could use a boost and Becky jokes that Warren babysat the caucus the week before and she was very close to flying to Iowa just to watch a movie. In the WC, Mark comments that Warren only got 9% of the vote and Becky jokes that Warren was in the Oklahoma Hall of Fame along with Tom Joad, Doonesbury, and Foghorn Leghorn.
- When Harris and Mark fight over the laptop in the WC, Harris accidentally threw the laptop way too hard into the wall and she is visibly trying not to laugh, but Mark keeps the scene going.
- At the start of the fake going-away party, the boom mic operator missed their cue in the EC and the first part of Louise's lines were not properly picked up resulting in low volume.
- In the same scene, one of the cameras has a zooming issue after the toast to Louise. The problem is more severe in the EC, but still occurs in both versions.
- Before making up with Mark, Harris jokes in the EC that a rap battle at a club would make things more fair since the older politicians have more experience as an advantage. In the WC, Harris jokes that all the candidates are like a gentrified neighborhood, all rich, white, or gay.
- When Darlene asks Mark for an update, Mark jokes that promos for The Bachelor keeps covering up the bottom of the screen, then says in the EC that Bernie has 28%, Klobuchar has 21%, and Yang had dropped out. In the WC, Mark only answers with the joke about The Bachelor.
- When Dan is upset with Becky and Darlene over the fake going-away party, he says that his love life is none of their business. Becky says "Got it. WHAT HAPPENED??" The scene went smoothly in the EC, but in the WC the camera person missed their cue so the camera focused on Dan too long and cuts to Becky too late which took away from the joke.
- In the final scene when Jackie tries to convince Harris to vote, references to Yang are cut in the WC since he had dropped out by the time of the WC airing. In the EC, Jackie says that Bernie and Warren want to help pay college tuition, Yang wants to give everyone $1000 a month, and Biden wants to decriminalize marijuana to which Harris jokes that if she ever gets to college, she'll need the weed and spending money. For the WC, Jackie replaces Yang with Klobuchar wanting to help give affordable housing. Harris jokes that after she bombs out of college from smoking too much weed, she'll need a place to crash.
Dan and Becky
- Becky: "Why didn't you tell us?"
- Dan: "BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!"
- Becky: "Got it. What happened?"