Roseanne & The Conners Wiki
Roseanne & The Conners Wiki

Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy Bass is the eleventh episode of Season 3 of The Conners, also the 42nd episode overall.


Darlene starts to feel the pressures of her new job which result in a health scare. Meanwhile, Dan attempts to help Ben out at the hardware store but the two don't always see eye to eye on running the business.


Darlene suffers panic attacks during her advancement process at Wellman Factory. It turns out that most of the pressure is from her own internal conflicts. They love Darlene's suggestions about increasing productivity, but Darlene is worried she does not deserve to take her own advice. Dan tries work the first time since Chuckie retired. Dan loses his job for ignoring a Vehicle Motion Alarm. He has no money for a hearing aid, so he tries out a job being Hank Hill. He works for Ben at O'Linsky Hardware. It turns out that Ben desperately needs Dan's help.


Darlene is continuing to advance at Wellman Factory. She is on the computer at a teleconference. Becky is with Darlene and comments about Patriarchy. This is not exactly true. Robin is in the meeting, and invited Darlene to join for the first time. Darlene is very nervous since they expect a visual. Darlene is frantic as she prepares at the last minute. Mary suggests her cousin's bedroom, as he has fancy furniture. Becky takes Mary's books, Harris's fancy coat, and shoos them out of the living room. Darlene opens the computer again and joins Robin and the four old men. Darlene comments about the novelty singing fish toy on the mantle as "her lake house" and proceeds with her presentation. She comments about productivity can be increased immensely by rewarding employees with gift cards, coffees, and time at a pinball machine. Darlene hyperventilates. The fish starts to sing, and she hurries to conclude the presentation. Becky takes her to hospital.

Louise and Jackie are arguing in the living room. They decide to arm wrestle. Ben is not surprised and asks about help at an O'Linsky Hardware store. Dan is in the kitchen very angry. He tells Louise that he recently got fired for ignoring a Vehicle Motion Alarm. Since he can not afford a hearing aid, he can not go to work at a construction site any more. Ben offers Dan a job to pay for the hearing aid. Louise and Jackie insist that he works for Ben. When Dan says No Way, he starts to accommodate him. He says he can work as many weeks as he desires.

Becky and Darlene are home from hospital. Darlene says that Robin unfairly dragged Darlene to a visual. Since Darlene panicked and left abruptly more than once, she is worried that the board of directors do not find her to be competent.

The next day, she tells Ben that Robin took Darlene's advice and gave her a gift certificate for a health spa ... a real one, not a simple nail salon. Ben takes Dan to work. Jackie checks on Darlene next. They look at a picture of Hot Stones and have choices of Reiki and Shiatsu. Darlene hyperventilates because Jackie suddenly asks a barrage of questions.

Dan Conner is enjoying his new job as Hank Hill. He tells a customer about propane safety. The next customer asks for Dan, which offends Ben. His reputation for being incompetent is spreading. Ben continues proving his incompetence by giving the customer bad advice. Dan asks for permission, and tells the customer that she has water damage. Ben believes that Dan is ripping the customer off, and counters Dan's evaluation by saying that waterproof paint stops leaks before they start. Dan insists that more action is required with the customer agreeing with him. The customer is worried about Ben. When Ben returns, he is upset that Dwight is conversing with Dan. Ben decides to help the customers and assigns Dan to unloading. Dan, believing it to be a temporary cashier job, argues with Ben, and suddenly quits.

Darlene sees a Doctor about the panic attacks. She says that she feels that she is not beautiful and does not belong at a Health Spa. The Doctor says that they sent her to the health spa because they liked Darlene's useful advice. Darlene finally says that she might be in over her head since she lost out at writing. She is also worried that she might have been a fraud for bragging her entire life. The Doctor tells her to worry about her own internal conflicts and not her bosses watching her all the time. He suggests that she writes a journal and gives her sedatives.

Jackie talks to Dan about the job. He tells her that since Chuckie retired, nobody else is going to hire Dan any more. Dan finally agrees that he deserved to be fired from the construction site. Jackie says his only choice is to talk to Ben about returning to O'Linsky's.

Becky diagnoses Darlene as a narcissist. Darlene tells Becky that the Doctor she saw earlier said that Darlene is afraid of change just as much as she is afraid of staying the same.

Ben and Dan trade insults at the kitchen table. During this discussion, Dan apologizes to Ben. Likewise, Ben promises to be more accommodating. Dan likes this, and says that he just might ask for a permanent position. He goes on to say he is ready for change. It is time for Dan to be Hank. Ben also agrees that he needs Dan to teach him. When he tried to sell the customer some tinted paint, it splattered every where.

Jackie consults Mark Junior about her own Spa treatment. They walk in the kitchen to show Darlene, Becky, and Dan the different hair style. Jackie is trying to audition for Jeopardy!, but her hair style reverts to the original one.



Special Guest[]




The Conners: Season Three
Keep On Truckin' Six Feet ApartHalloween and the Election vs. The PandemicPlastics, Trash Talk & Darlene AntoinetteBirthdays, Babies and Emotional Support ChickensFriends In High Places and Horse SurgeryProtest, Drug Test and One Leaves the NestA Cold Mom, A Brother Daddy and a Prison Baby‎Young Love, Old Lions and Middle-Aged HyenasPromotions, Podcasts and Magic TeaWho Are Bosses, Boats and Eckhart Tolle?Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy BassA Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak and a Grave MistakeWalden Pond, A Staycation and The Axis PowersMoney, Booze and LiesAn Old Dog, New Tricks and a Ticket to RideA Fast Car, A Sudden Loss, and A Slow DeclineRegrets, Rehabs and RealtorsCheating, Revelations and a Box of Doll HeadsJeopardé, Sobrieté and InfidelitéTwo Proposals, A Homecoming and a Bear
Season Episode Guides

Roseanne: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Season 7Season 8Season 9Season 10
The Conners: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4