Roseanne & The Conners Wiki
Roseanne & The Conners Wiki

Regrets, Rehabs and Realtors is the seventeenth episode of Season 3 of The Conners, also the 48th episode overall.


Dan encounters a surprise visitor who shares some unsolicited advice, leaving him feeling guilty. Meanwhile, Darlene welcomes a new employee to Wellman Plastics.  


Becky does not want to go to rehab, while Darlene wants to go on vacation. Jeff wants her to go on vacation while Ben does not. Barb moves back to Lanford to interfere with Ben's life.


Both Becky and Darlene need to go some place. Becky is going to rehab while Darlene is going on vacation. Ben turns out to be more old fashioned than David and continues to say No. He also says that the store might be busy.

Ben returns to the store with all of his things set up East Asian style. His mother Barb stops by to say that she is returning to Lanford. Now that she is here, she is going to devote more time to her son and his relationship with Darlene. She is even more furious at Darlene not wanting to leave home.

Wellman is making bottles today. Jeff arrives late and drunk in front of Darlene. She says he has to simply pack bottles as the conveyor belt delivers them to him. He feigns serenity and tranquility and other East Asian life styles which reminds Darlene about her vacation.

Becky is uncomfortable at rehab. She tries to laugh all the time to avoid crying. Also, she is alarmed at hearing the extreme cases from the other people. When it is her turn for them to find out the cause of her drinking, she escapes.

Jackie is enjoying fresh potato chips in front of Dan. When she starts crunching them, he pours a fresh bottle of beer on the chips.

Barb is at the front door. Jackie takes offense at Barb's comments about The Lunch Box before returning to The Lunch Box. Dan scoffs at her but she apologizes. She says that she does not want to talk to Ben but instead about Ben. He offers Barb endless Beer since he does not really want to talk to her. She tells Dan that his bill problems are interfering in her life. Dan says that Darlene, Becky, and Harris offered to help Dan. Barb says that Dan manipulated them into an unhealthy codependent situation. It is even better that since Dan can not keep up with the house to go ahead and sell it. Dan starts enquiring about Barb's situation. He begins by saying that she could not even tell Ben who his father is. She says that at least his father did not use his grown children's to pay for his van. She also says that Dan is being contentious. Dan also says that The Other Alligators In Florida got sick of her. Barb takes her beer and leaves.

Jeff and Darlene reconcile. He arrived earlier than she did and with an apron. They talk about going on vacation. She asks why Jeff really went to work at Wellman. He tried to go on vacation before, which ended up disasterous. He wished he was married and could afford the vacation. Darlene is still interested. She wants to go to Hawaii and eat a pineapple. Jeff wants to go with her, but she thinks that he is a freeloader.

Jackie is at the kitchen table again. Dan wants to sell the house with Jackie telling him to ignore Barb. She also says that there is no way he would get any money by selling the house. Becky returns in front of Dan and Jackie.

They confront Becky. She says that it is better to go to meetings. Dan asks Becky what she is worried about. Jackie says that their family has a long line of alcoholics. Becky's grandparents are a bunch of alcoholics. Becky says that she wants to go to the treatment place but is admits she is afraid. Dan drives her back to the facility.

Jackie accidently shows Darlene real estate listings. Darlene tells Dan that it is too soon for Darlene to move in with Ben. Ben and Darlene got jobs only recently, and are still unable to adjust to the stress. She is mad at Ben for not being there for her when she needs him to be. She says that Dan does not need to worry about Ben and Barb as she might not want to see Ben if he does not understand what is best for her at the moment.

Becky returns to the group therapy and continues her "Fun Without Drinking" jokes. However, she says that everybody needs to take it seriously as people that are there most likely their first time are going to have a relapse, just as she did.



Special Guest[]




The Conners: Season Three
Keep On Truckin' Six Feet ApartHalloween and the Election vs. The PandemicPlastics, Trash Talk & Darlene AntoinetteBirthdays, Babies and Emotional Support ChickensFriends In High Places and Horse SurgeryProtest, Drug Test and One Leaves the NestA Cold Mom, A Brother Daddy and a Prison Baby‎Young Love, Old Lions and Middle-Aged HyenasPromotions, Podcasts and Magic TeaWho Are Bosses, Boats and Eckhart Tolle?Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy BassA Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak and a Grave MistakeWalden Pond, A Staycation and The Axis PowersMoney, Booze and LiesAn Old Dog, New Tricks and a Ticket to RideA Fast Car, A Sudden Loss, and A Slow DeclineRegrets, Rehabs and RealtorsCheating, Revelations and a Box of Doll HeadsJeopardé, Sobrieté and InfidelitéTwo Proposals, A Homecoming and a Bear
Season Episode Guides

Roseanne: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4Season 5Season 6Season 7Season 8Season 9Season 10
The Conners: Season 1Season 2Season 3Season 4