When a new, more classy restaurant opens opposite the Lunchbox, Roseanne declares war.
A new diner is opening up across the street from Roseanne and Jackie's diner, and they are worried that it will spell the end for "The Lunch Box". To promote the new restaurant's grand opening, the owners hire Pat Harrington Jr., who played Dwayne Schneider from the 70's sitcom One Day at a Time. When Roseanne discovers that they have a salad bar, and are serving loose meat sandwiches, she declares war. When adding a waffle bar, staying open late, and dressing up the menu doesn't seem to work, Roseanne decides to sabotage the new diner with raw fish, only to wind up stuck in an exhaust vent over a stove. The cast of Stomp does a dance at the diner.
- Roseanne as Roseanne Conner
- John Goodman as Dan Conner
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner (credit only)
- Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner (credit only)
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Martin Mull as Leon Carp
- Sandra Bernhard as Nancy Bartlett
- Pat Harrington Jr. as Himself
- Michael P. Byrne as Customer
- Christopher M. Brown as Customer
- Stomp as Themselves
- Steven Dean Davis as Cafe Stomp Performer
- Despite being credited, Sara Gilbert (Darlene Conner) and Lecy Goranson (Becky Conner) do not appear.
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