Roseanne and Jackie learn that producers want to make a TV-movie about the Conners, but also find out that they want to make distressingly drastic changes: gorgeous actors to play the Conners, less blue-collar plot twists, etc. Meanwhile, Bev, Leon, and Joyce naively reveal all kinds of information about Roseanne's life and past to a tabloid reporter.
The Conner's are approached by different network and cable film developers, each hoping to get the right to their "rags to riches" story. What starts out as excitement and enthusiasm for the family, soon dims when they realize that none of the producers they interview with want to portray them as they really are. A tabloid reporter approaches Beverly, Joyce, and Leon for stories about Roseanne and her family, and they are only too eager to dish the dirt.
- Roseanne as Roseanne Conner
- John Goodman as Dan Conner (credit only)
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner (credit only)
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Sarah Chalke as Becky Conner (credit only)
- Martin Mull as Leon Carp
- Fred Willard as Scott
- Bob Einstein as Howard Morton
- Bobby Porter as Bill Morris
- Johnny Dark as Frank Andrews
- Patti Ross as Bobby Barrows
- Bob Fuller as Clothing Salesman
- Despite being credited, John Goodman (Dan Conner), Sara Gilbert (Darlene Conner) and Sarah Chalke (Becky Conner) do not appear. However, a massive burp from Dan can be heard.
|Roseanne: Season Nine|
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