White Men Can't Kiss was the ninth episode of Season 7 of Roseanne, also the 155th overall series episode. It was written by Rob Ulin and Kevin Abbott, and was directed by Gail Mancuso. It originally aired on ABC-TV on November 16, 1994.
Dan and Roseanne find out that D.J. wants to skip participating in his school play because he has to kiss a black girl, and is uncomfortable about it. Roseanne wants to force him, and Dan is worried that D.J. might have gotten prejudiced ideas by something he has unwittingly said or done. Jackie is perplexed by the fact that Fred seems to enjoy spending time with her mother.
Jackie doesn't want Beverly spending so much time at the house and is upset and baffled that Fred likes spending so much time with her. DJ doesn't want to kiss a girl named Geena Williams at school for a play. Roseanne, feeling that DJ is being forced to do something he doesn't want to, meets with his teacher, who tells Roseanne that DJ doesn't want to kiss Geena because she is black since he only wanted to be in the play for the kiss but changed his mind after knowing he'd have to kiss Geena. Roseanne confronts DJ and tells him he has to kiss her, but he refuses and Dan supports his decision.
After a fight with Chuck Mitchell, Dan questions his own bigotry, and he tells DJ he has to kiss Gina after DJ admits he didn't want to because "she just looks real different." Roseanne confronts her own bigotry when a man stops by late at night at the Lunchbox and she is afraid to let him in until he tells her he is Gina's father. He angrily confronts her and leaves her wondering if she was afraid to let him in because he was a man or because he was black.
- Roseanne as Roseanne Conner
- John Goodman as Dan Conner
- Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris
- Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner (credit only)
- Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner
- Sarah Chalke as Becky Conner (credit only)
- Johnny Galecki as David Healy
- Glenn Quinn as Mark Healy
- Michael O'Keefe as Fred
- Estelle Parsons as Beverly Harris
- James Pickens Jr. as Chuckie Mitchell
- John McConnell as Bob
- Lisa Banes as Mrs. Simms
- Lewis Dix Jr. as Mr. Williams
- Rae'Ven Larrymore Kelly as Geena Williams
- Michael Traeger as Marvin
- Geena Williams makes her first appearance. She'll return to the show in the Season 10 episode "Go Cubs" instead played by Xosha Roquemore, where it's revealed she had married D.J. and had a daughter, Mary Conner, in the intervening years. She would later become apart of the main cast for the spin-off series The Conners, which is currently played by Maya Lynne Robinson.
- Michael Traeger (Marvin) makes his second appearance, he had previously appeared in the Season 4 episode "Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker".
- In the closing tag, Beverly is at Jackie and Fred's again annoying Jackie. When Jackie goes to bed, Beverly reveals her true self, with a lower voice she smokes a cigar, drinks a beer and shares a few laughs with Fred.
- Despite being credited, Sara Gilbert (Darlene Conner) and Sarah Chalke (Becky Conner) do not appear. This is the third episode in a row that Sarah Chalke has been absent in.
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